install theme


Nine and Twelve are in Jail together for a night because they are drunk and accidentally broke into their neighbors home and across from them is Mishima Lisa in another cell and they are all “You are way too cute and meek to be in jail what the fuck?” and Lisa just quietly says “I stabbed a dude.” Then it’s quiet for a really long time before Twelve is like “Can we keep her?”

  • My boss: let's all remember what September brought us
  • Me: nothing but Greenday jokes....
  • Guy sitting next to me: It's time to wake up Greenday
  • My boss: *stares at both of us with a blank expression* let's try to have a good Tuesday....


*queue the ‘someone should wake up green day’ jokes*


Guys, one more day and we can finally wake up Green Day


untitled by femme run on Flickr.


"Oh my GOD Carl I am so done with you.”


Note to self: You matter

"I relapsed"

- the hardest words for someone to say (don’t be an asshole if they say it to you)  (via writerdork-11)



"you’re obsessed with your mental illness"

i know right? it’s almost like it impacts every part of my life

"it’s all in your head"

I know right? it’s almost like it’s a mental illness


This is the JOKE POLICE we’re here to arrest you for telling a shitty joke. Come out with your hands up!!! And don’t you dare try any funny business that’s what got you into this situation. 

"Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, have enough."

- Oprah Winfrey (via amortizing)